i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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