I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
