May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
