the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize