i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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