I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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