No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
don't judge my taste in strippers
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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