i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
