That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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