So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
