You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize