people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
