i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
