I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This girl is more easily done than said...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
