i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
