Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
