he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
