So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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