i don't like sucking hair
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
