so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
