Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
