I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
