Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
