just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
