Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize