Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
