What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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