If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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