yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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