Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
