True but thats because hes a fetus.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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