He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
