You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
