i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She told me I should be a condom model.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
