Pants 0. Shit 1.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
