i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
