you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
