she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
