Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
