Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
