I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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