these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
