Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
be right there i have to get my cape
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
