i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize