in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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