piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We are two peas in an std pod
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
