I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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