If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
