Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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