everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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