so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you mean i was at the winter classic?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
