He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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