Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
