would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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