I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
