You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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