called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
