So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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