Slut skills are useful in every country.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize