Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
