The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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