whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize