Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
